Label: Not On Label - CO 6767 Format: Vinyl LP, Album, Stereo Country: US Genre: Classical Style: Religious
Please let me know if I can help further Illustrations, simple diagrams Although the photos are extremely helpful to this article, I long for simple visual diagrams or illustrations of some of the geometric complexities presented here. In addition actor z1, actor z2. Having just consulted White paperperhaps the correct title including capitalisation for the article should be "The Future of Air Transport White Paper". Michael Devore also has played an important role in this process. Why are solo years e. Craft your collection.
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See how it works. Discover our Deezer Sessions. Done DK Reply I have taken care of this issue now. Dk Reply Yes unfortunately, none of the books I own describe the stepped wells. But a recent book published by Gerard Foekema "Architecture of Indian subcontinent" has a few lines on it which i have lined to in citation Done movd images.
Done Dk Reply Yes, the 16 pointed and 24 pointed uniterrupted plans are isolated cases in India. All stellate plans according to the author in north India are the 32 pointed interrupted type, making the 16 and 24 pointed ones unique. However, so as not to draw undue attention to this issue, I have changed the title of that section which has all the citations needed. I can however add more if you so desire. Done Dk Reply Moved to a less conspicuous location. Dineshkannambadi DK Reply Here, I request that the template be maintained.
Some reviewers frown upon a "list" of temples and discourage lists. I either created a template for temples in architecture articles or a template for Kings in regular history articles. I want to expand this template and include more temples, further provide date of consecration, kings who commissioned it, may be even a column for articulation style etc dravida , nagara.
This way I can keep all details in one template and link from there to subarticles. Dk Reply I will look into this. Done DK Reply clarified and broke into multiple sentences.
Done DK Reply spelled it out as "century". The exact date of consecratin of a few monuments is debated based on inscriptional evidence. Done DK Reply corrected per above advice and reduced sentence length somewhat. Or Samir? They might agree to help. DK Reply the meaning of articulation according to the scholars referenced is given in the section "Temple complexes" and subsection "Basic layout" and goes like this, Ornamental components forming patterns that include the whole of the shrine such as projections and recesses of the outer wall are considered as architectural articulation.
Done DK Reply I have reduced usage of "architectural" term, chopped many long sentences into smaller ones, explained "articulation" on first occurance. Will continue to improve the article. Done Dk Reply I have taken care of these examples you have shown and will continue to cpedit and improve the article.
Done DK Reply I have requested another user, not connected with the article to do a copy edit and improve prose. Done DK Reply I would like to thank user: Writtenright , user: Michael Devore and user: Epbr for their copy edits and spelling checks to improve the prose in this article.
Support - A well-referenced, interesting article which we have come to expect from dinesh. Baka man Strong Support - Meets FA criteria. Well-written, and well-cited with ample images. Overall, very impressive work. Strong support - Well referenced and meets FA criteria. Naveen talk Here are a few spelling variations I found when looking through the article on the first passes. Done Dineshkannambadi talk Done Done now. DK Reply This is ok. Basavanna is a person, "Basavana Bagevadi" with single "n" is a place where he was laid to rest.
Two are in the template Western Chalukya Temples. One is in the template Karnataka. DK Reply All spelling issues have been corrected. While reading through the article I found sentences where the structure is likely in error. Finally, the depictions that stand more or less by themselves, including miniature architectural components on pilasters, miniature buildings, sculptures and complete towers, categorised as "figure sculpture".
This reads as a sentence fragment; as the simplest fix I would recommend adding an are before categorised. Normally, Chalukyan temples were built facing the east — although, exceptions include the Siddhesvara temple at Haveri. Wikipedia prefers the unspaced em dash for interruption, see Wikipedia: In fact, there are editors on WP with a history of making wholesale changes from space en dash to unspaced em dash. A second problem, potentially, is that the sentence may have too much interruption: Consider dropping the comma, or perhaps the entire although, you use a lot of although s in the article.
This may fall under stylistic decisions, however. Temples that fall in this category are the Mahadeva Temple at Jalsingi and the Suryanarayana Temple at Kalgi in modern Gulbarga district. No preceding the is correct if you dropped district , or if district was capitalized as part of the full Gulbarga name. You already have a the on two other Gulbarga district phrases in the article, so consider that, too. That wraps up my smattering of higher-level copy edit suggestions.
I did a modest rework of your first paragraph to make it read better to me , while keeping your original sentence content to match the references. I was rather more aggressive in reworking paragraph 3 to get a better read, but I think it retains your meaning.
Michael Devore talk Oppose The article has two major problems: In my opinion, this is not an easy fix. It needs more than just a careful copy-edit; it needs rethinking about its focus. The article should be withdrawn, its text should be organized clearly, rewritten clearly, and then resubmitted.
Here is the first paragraph of the lead. The text is in italics and my comments in parentheses. Western Chalukya architecture Kannada: The lead sentence defines the architecture as "the distinctive building style.
Western Chalukya influence was at its peak in the 12th century, when it dominated the Deccan Plateau. The sentence is vague: The influence of the empire or of the architecture? There are grammatical problems: Also, the " Deccan Plateau " is a geographical feature; it is like saying that Mughal architecture dominated the Indo-Gangetic Plain rather than the architecture of northern India.
Although, the central Karnataka region held its position as the nucleus of cultural activity, something must be missing here where the workshops built monuments with vigour. Again, the sentence is not grammatical, but, more importantly, what is the point of the sentence?
The reader is still waiting to be told what is distinctive. Also, "vigour" would apply to the artisans or builders, but not really to workshops. These structures are a local variant of the basic dravida south Indian plan and termed "The Karnata dravida" tradition.
Well, now it belatedly does mention the architecture, but instead of explaining it, it gives it another name, this time the tradition rather than the architecture, all of which is very confusing to a reader. The reader has no idea what the basic dravida tradition is. Which structures are you talking about? The monuments? Temples of all sizes built during this era remain as examples of the Chalukyan architectural style.
The sentence is ambiguous. Does it mean that all temples built during this era were built in the WC style? Or, that temples of all sizes have survived and together define the WC style?
Still no explanation of distinctiveness. Well, now the text goes off on an extended tour of the different locations. If the point of the lead is to list the geographical locations of the architectural style, then there should be a map, instead of the photographs, accompanying the text.
In the Evolution section: Although Western Chalukya architecture was an independent tradition by virtue of the modifications achieved by its builders Modifications of what?
If they are modifications, how are they independent? In the Temple Deities section: Identification of the original presiding deity to which the temple was dedicated to , in case the temple had been appropriated by another faith, is made possible by inspection of certain features. Passive voice makes it too convoluted. In section Temple Complexes Basic Layout: Common to both plans are the use of two or more doorways and porches giving entrance to the main hall.
Unlike the northern Indian temples, which have a small closed mantapa leading to the shrine, and the southern pure dravida temples, which have a large open pillared mantapa , the Chalukyan architects found a compromise and retained both. How could these sentences have escaped copy editing by a number of editors?
It should be "Common to both plans is the use Other problems too. I see these problems pretty much everywhere I look. Other problems? Too much jargon in technical explanations. Also, no satisfactory conclusion: I think the topic is fascinating, but the article needs to be rethought clearly with regards message and focus, and then rewritten clearly. The basic structure defines whether the shrine has a pradakshina path for circumambulation or not, the size of the shrine and of the sanctum inside, and the basic distribution of the building.
Ornamental components forming patterns that include the whole of the shrine such as projections and recesses of the outer wall are considered as architectural articulation. In the former, all or nearly all projections form projecting corners and the latter have only four projecting corners.
There are two basic kinds of architectural articulation: In the first sentence you must mean "subdivided into three components. The next sentence "The basic structure defines whether the shrine has What is "basic distribution" too vague? Is it the blueprint or floor plan? Need a better choice of words. Look at the predicate: Next sentence: In the next sentence: But, the grammar aside, it seems to be a clunky explanation of those terms.
The next sentence, "There are two basic kinds of architectural articulation: The last sentence, "Finally, the depictions that stand more or less by themselves, including miniature architectural components on pilasters, miniature buildings, sculptures and complete towers, categorised as "figure sculpture".
Where is the predicate? Do you really want "depictions? I see this pretty much in every paragraph of the text. That is why I think this is not an easy fix: DK comment Rewritten in clear, grammatical language, this article has gone through formal peer-review and has undergone several rounds of copyedits by different editors.
If you have specific issues on any grammatical issues, please point them out, and I will try addressing them. Again, thanks for your efforts on reviewing this article. DK Comment I have gone through your comments and find them very vague and unclear. You seem to have a problem with many sentences, but you dont state what is the actual problem.
Although the article has noticeably improved over the last few days, much to your credit, I believe you want the article to be the finest it can be. Why not take the time to make this article sparkle, rather than rushing it through FAC? For example, IMO, the article suffers from the following problems:.
The writing style is dull and clumsy, not sparkling as befits an FA e. Too much weasel wording and passive voice. And again in the very the next sentence: Again, I would stress that words that are likely to be unfamiliar to the average reader should be either linked or explained.
There are many words in the article that I do not know the meaning of. These are just examples randomly picked. If you go through the article following the many good suggestions given to you above by many other editors, it should noticeably improve the article. You tend to use their suggestions on the sentence they provide as an example, rather than generalizing the suggestions to the whole article. You cannot expect the FA editors to copy edit the entire article.
Also, I question the basic overall organization of the article. Are the sections presented in an order that makes sense? It is hard for me to follow the article, but maybe others feel differently. Mattisse I am traveling. I managed to find a weak connection to the internet; hope I can stay connected. I am afraid there are still too many problems. I see some improvement, but mostly in the parts that I have already commented on. Here, for example, is the second paragraph of the lead.
There are problems in every sentence of the paragraph. I have now read user: The centre of these architectural developments was the region of Dharwad district presently divided into Dharwad, Haveri and Gadag districts , and about 50 monuments have survived, an indicator of the temple building activity of the Western Chalukyan architects.
The influence of this style is seen up to the Kalyani region and beyond in the north-east, in the Bellary region in the east, in the Mysore region in the south. If the influence extends beyond a region, it certainly extends up to the region.
Need an "and" before the third comma. Better to say something like, "The influence of this style extended beyond weasel word though: In the Bijapur - Belgaum region to the north, their style is mixed with the remnants of that of the Hemadpanti temples.
In the west, apart from a few temples in Konkan , the Western Ghats practically acted as a barrier to the propagation of this style. All that remains of Western Chalukya monuments are their temples, built in the Shaiva , Vaishnava and Jain religious traditions.
None of their military, civil and courtly architecture have survived. These structures may have been built with mud, brick and wood and hence were unable to withstand invasions. So, when the map gets done, it will contain "dots" showing the location and the corresponding place names. So, as you can see, there are problems in every sentence of the paragraph.
And this is still the lead. I will try to add something more, if I can find another connection later in the day. As I had said above, this article cannot be fixed on the fly by responding to sample copy edits provided by the reviewers. It has too many problems of grammar, style, and cohesion for that. It needs to be withdrawn, reworked on with care, and then resubmitted. DK Comment Based on some of the responses from reviewers, I have requested the League of Copyeditors to help me out in cleaning up grammar and other issues on this article.
So, when that happens, I will provide full co-operation. Comment I am wondering if organization could be improved discussing sculpture in one place under the heading of Scupture instead of some discussion of sculpture under Deities , especially since that section is so long?
Also, I am wondering why Deities is the second important heading? It seems like that section covers a mixture of topics. At least some of the information in that section might fit better for the sake of clarity under other headings Mattisse However, if there is consensus to move the above two sentences from Deities to the Sculpture section, I would be happy to do so.
Possible typo In the "Stellate plans" section, a sentence says, "Between the 12th and 13th Centuries there are no sharp differences between the styles, although the 12th century characteristics become prominent. Finetooth talk Time stamps in photos The red time stamps on some of the photos are distracting.
The eye is drawn to them instead of to the temples and their architectural details. Since the date and time of data generation are given on the Wikimedia page associated with each photo, time stamps on the photos are superfluous. If you can possibly remove the time stamps from your originals and upload unstamped versions, it would improve the article.
Done DK Reply Time stamps removed from images by user: Papa November. Illustrations, simple diagrams Although the photos are extremely helpful to this article, I long for simple visual diagrams or illustrations of some of the geometric complexities presented here.
It is difficult to convey an accurate sense of these structures using only words. In the former, all or nearly all projections are projecting corners and in the latter, there are only four projecting corners.
In this context, what is a "corner? Yes, my request may be unreasonable. I would not know how to do such illustrations myself, and I would groan loudly if someone suggested that any of my articles needed them. Also, line drawings might or might not work. I understand what you are saying above about the number of projecting corners equaling the number of vertices. Would it be accurate to call these corners "points"?
I am thinking of the points of a star not a real star but a stylized representation of a star. When imagining a stellate design, I see "points" rather than corners, though this may be an oversimplification of the architectural reality. Your mention of the first two images is logical. Let me think a bit more about this. Perhaps a sentence in the main text could direct readers to the particular photo or photos that illustrate the geometry under discussion.
Finetooth December 25, My best shot at improving this particular sentence is, "If stepped and stellate, these components form many projections, and if square or rectangular, they form only four projections. Perhaps "stepped or stellate" is more accurate; it seems to me that at least the right-hand section of the Mahadeva Temple at Itagi is stepped but not stellate.
In short, I am confused, which is not a good thing for a copyeditor to be. DK Reply Actually its not "stepped and stellate". As explained in one of the sections, a stellate floorplan was obtained from a stepped plan by rotating the projections by The author sees both of these as one type of articulation, the other being the square plan.
I have corrected your cpedit. If I were the main author, I would try to write for a hypothetical reader living thousands of miles from southern India and having little knowledge of it.
I would imagine a reader fluent in English but untutored in architecture and completely ignorant of the temple architecture of India.
For this reader, terms such as "articulation", "dravida," "nagara," "interrupted star," and "uninterrupted star" and many others must be explained as clearly as possible as early in the article as possible. This will be no easy task, but I have no doubt it can be done. Done DK Reply I have provided many English language equivalents in brackets to terms such as "dravida", "nagara", "Bhumija", "Sekhari", "latina" etc. The terms "articulation", "interrupted", "uninterrupted" etc.
What I said was, "Yes, my request may be unreasonable. If I were the main author and no other way to solve the problem of lack of clarity could be found, I would figure out how to do or how to get someone else to do the illustrations, maps, or whatever, even if it made me groan. The first two images that you mention are positioned far away from the text that they might help explain. Moving them might damage the layout; in addition, those two images might be needed elsewhere as examples of other ideas in the text.
I thought of assigning numbers to each photograph and adding notes such as "See photograph 4" in parentheses in the main text, but this seems clumsy; it would force readers to hunt for the photo, which might be anywhere. Done DK Reply The definitions have been provided now.
If any are left out, which I may have felt is self explanatory, please point them out and I will make the meaning explicit. Done DK Reply Provided line diagrams for the four main types of floorplans: I agree with user: Finetooth that diagrams are needed.
In fact, they are a must. It is impossible to figure out what is what from the photographs alone. The explanations of the temple layout are still dense. For example, "open hall" is certainly not standard usage in English for what looks like a "pillared porch. Similarly the explanation of "articulation" is still very poor. What is the wall of a shrine, when the word "shrine" is itself not clearly defined?
Is it really the outer wall, or is it the outer surface or outside of the tower. While a portion of the outer wall below the tower seems to have a cross-sectional shape similar to the tower, not all of it does, and in any case that shape is not evident from the photographs. For all these reasons, it is absolutely imperative that the text be accompanied by diagrams.
However, for some reason, he seems resistant to this idea. I will look at the text in a few days when I have more time and add comments on the language. Done DK Reply Line diagrams have been added per request. DK Comment Based on some of the responses from reviewers, I had requested the League of Copyeditors to help me out in cleaning up grammar and other issues on this article. Finetooth graciously completed a thorough copy edit job.
Michael Devore also has played an important role in this process. Done DK Comment A request has been made to user: I will have a map inserted as soon as he is free to complete the job. Final comments by user: In any case, let me be perfectly clear: Finetooth , user: Mattisse , and Kiyarr and I are saying above is not that this article can be fixed in a few days and that we have confidence in your ability to fix it. Rather, we are saying that the article has deeper issues of clarity and organization, which remain unresolved.
In addition, it needs visual aids—illustrative diagrams and a map, of the kind that the many architecture FAs listed above have. Most importantly, we are saying that this article has been an FAC long enough exactly a month today ; it has had help from numerous editors, including user: Finetooth from the League of Copy-editors, who is concurring in this opinion; it is therefore time to end this FAC.
Final comments by User: I wish to make clear that my mentioning problems in cohesion, organization, grammar and wording with the article was in no way "scorning at others efforts" the many editors that have worked so hard to try to improve your article as you allege above.
I have the utmost respect for those fine editors who, in my opinion, have gone beyond the call of duty in trying to help this article, especially this late in the FAC process. Done DK response clarifications, meanings and disambiguiation of complicated terms have been dealt with with links, bracketed meanings.
If anymore exist, please point them out and I will clean it up. Done DK Response Line diagrams of the main floorplans have been added. These were drawn by user: Papa November who used the diagrams from my earlier uploaded raster images. Thank you user: The article has major prose and organisation problems.
You cannot quickly address the issues during a FAC. You should improve the article, give it a copy-edit and PR, then try GA first. Why have scanned images of simple diagrams from a book been added to the article and justified as images of book covers?
They are surely not that. In any case, a book cover is allowed under non-free fair use if the article discusses only that book. I am aware there may be MOS issues, but it would be easier for me to proceed in improving this article further if they were pointed out. Otherwise, I feel this article meets all other criteria for FAC. Amerique dialectics A few minor things here and there Oppose —The writing should do justice to both the standards of the institution and WP.
Here are random examples, mostly from the lead, of why careful copy-editing is required, preferably by a new collaborator with strategic distance from the text.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page. The article was not promoted No opinion on FA suitability.
The final link reports that the server is due back online on 28th Jan. For example, in the lead: If so, the opening "The" should be bold too, and "The" should start the article title. No need to spell out "United Kingdom" before the first abbreviation. Where is it referenced? What is the source of this "framework"? Can you dot and space throughout the references?
MOS subpage on titles or is it capitalisation? You might consider doing this. Check formatting through the refs; I see, for example, a full-stop squashed next to the subsequent character. I appreciate your comments. In response MOS and removed the leading "The". I also added "in the United Kingdom" to disambiguate the nationality. Having just consulted White paper , perhaps the correct title including capitalisation for the article should be "The Future of Air Transport White Paper".
What do you think? Can you provide a specific example? LEAD leaves the issue of citations in the lead to editorial concensus and personally I do not like them. The lead in this article introduces nothing that is not comprehensively cited in the body of the article. Is this acceptable for you?
Was this all, or have I missed something? Daniel Case talk Please see the instructions at WP: FAC , and remove one or the other. The ones you have mentioned are sourced now , and I had to rephrases some to become more encyclopedic.
If you have more comments, please post them. Thanks to all. GAC and WP: Please remove one or the other. I realize that by doing so, I am taking a risky step, but I believe that the article is ready for FA. I am still trying to figure out the best way to solve it. Some links were simply outdated, and one was vandalism. I fixed them now. It sounds quite POV.
Also is there sourcing for the table of nutritional values? Guest, You are a great reviewer! I would however note that I am not very experienced in this area of Wikipedia. List of Lepidoptera that feed on apple trees" perhaps fits better in "Botanical information"? List of Lepidoptera that feed on apple trees" moved to "Botanical information". Thanks for the feed back. D The lead should summarize the article, as I understand it.
I do not believe that happens in the current article. LEAD, I was reluctant to remove the info already there, because this is the kind of thing a real encyclopedia would show Not in any way suggesting that Wikipedia is not an encyclopedia: I just added a small paragraph. Also, I took Guest comment and added it rather than rephrasing the sentence since we will lose an important piece of info if we did that.
GTL , see also, further, etc. CAPS All caps , reduce all caps in citations. Extensive cleanup is needed in citations: Retrieved on 24 January Retrieved on 22, Retrieved on January Unformatted entry in External links. See also needs pruning: HEAD should be followed capitalisation issues. Jared Jacobs via Storyful. According to a NOAA Fisheries press release, the killer whales were previously spotted off the coast of Paraparaumui, New Zealand, in , and their unusual appearance was speculated to be a genetic mutation.
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